You came back from work, exhausted. You pulled out the can of stew from the freezer and set it in a bowl of water to defrost.Ah!!! You remembered you told Grace, your 15 year old daughter to boil rice as you scanned the empty pots. God knows that you try your best to be a good mother to the only child you have. She never ever listened to you and she had been exhibiting this dark silence for days now. Angry, you burst into her room and found her with a pregnancy kit test on her bed side table. Lord!!You did not kill your parents and she cannot kill you. She told you in a rebellious voice that she was pregnant and she was going to have an abortion. You are sitting on your bed, your cheeks wet, trying to figure out where you went wrong. Was it by marrying Fred, who took off with his secretary a year ago? Was it by giving Grace all she needed? Was it by working so hard so she could get an education? You realise that thinking is not going to help solve your problem. What are you going to do to prevent Grace from killing you? 

Many parents are in this situation and the most important thing they must do is to not blame themselves. An abortion could be dangerous to her health, besides you do not subscribe to that idea. You feel like spanking her but she is too old to be spanked anyway. Many parents are in the same boat, so relax as you are not alone. There are so many things you can do this trying time.

1.Talk to your daughter. Ask her why she wants an abortion and try to suggest giving up the child for adoption. Find out who is responsible for the pregnancy. Do all of this in a calm, composed manner.

2.Arrange a meeting with the family of the young man responsible for the pregnancy. If they are willing to accept the pregnancy, talk about the care and source of financial support for your daughter and her baby.

3.Let your child know the consequences of her actions. If she has the baby, ensure she sees to motherly activities like changing baby diapers, washing baby clothes, e.t.c. Do not remind her every moment that you are disappointed, but remain supportive while ensuring she is responsible as a mother.

4.Encourage your child to follow her dreams and aspirations. The deed has already been done, but she can go back to school, learn a trade and become a successful woman. Counsel her to remain focused on her goals in life.

It’s disappointing to have to deal with a pregnant teenage daughter as a parent, but who knows? You could have a very successful daughter and a beautiful grandchild in the future. You won’t let that child kill you before your time.

Written by : Galadima Gimbiya

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