Womanhood is characterized by hormonal imbalances, today she is happy, tomorrow she is screaming, next tomorrow she wants to be hugged and the other day she wanted to be alone. If our brothers can understand this part of women, there will be no conflict in the home. Sometimes when a girl is acting funny, it’s mostly hormones.
So I enjoin you to say things as they are, don’t coin the name, don’t try to cover it. What she doesn’t learn at home, she will learn by association. Teach her how to recognize sexual predators. Encourage her to always speak up in cases of abuse. ‘Your 7-year old girl tells you, Mummy Uncle Paul touched me. Don’t flog her, don’t silence her, don’t take it casual and don’t sweep it under the carpet, she can’t be lying. Investigate further and handle with wisdom. So many girls have been raped today without the knowledge of their mothers.
‘How can you say your step-father is abusing you? You are a very stupid girl’ and then you flog, threaten the innocent girl who needs immediate medical and psychological attention. That is wrong, do something about it. Post-traumatic effect of rape is something no sensible mother wants her girl to go through. Refuse to be careless. Don’t just hand your girl over to any ‘brother’. Be careful. Be observant for signs. Don’t ignore her sudden change of attitude especially withdrawal from people (this could be suicidal), investigate with love, she needs it.
- Be her Cheerleader
When is your daughter’s next recital? Sports day? Whatever it is she is into. Be actively involved. Nothing stimulates performance like having those you love around you during important events of your life. Don’t be too busy to be involved. Let her know you believe in her. Be gracious with hugs. Girls, ladies and women value hugs more than flowers. We all want to be hugged, so do this for her often. Some mothers only hugged their daughters when they were born and when they were getting married. As funny as this is, it is true, so who has been hugging her in between those years?
Let her find home in you. She is running home even when she is on her own, why? She wants to come and talk to mummy, play with mummy, and gist with mummy, she missed mummy, she wants to hug mummy. The name mummy creates so much excitement in her, why? Because the relationship is there.
She just broke up with John, she should tell you irrespective of what happened. You should always there for her to give her all the support she needs. Discipline her when the needs arises. Don’t pamper rubbish, don’t in a bid to be her friend neglect discipline. When your 100L daughter starts using iPhone 6 that you did not buy for her, don’t keep quiet, investigate the matter. Be disciplined and scold when necessary. Discipline is key.
- Avoid being verbally abusive.
Don’t talk her down. You don’t have to be insulting to make a point. The pressure from life is enough to weigh her down. Your verbal abuse can send her into depression. In as much as you encourage, don’t condemn. Telling your girl how useless she is will not stop her from changing her ways. It will not! Sow the right seeds of words into her life. Pray for her and pray with her.
Learn to say you are sorry when you wrong your girl. When you do that often, your daughter unconsciously learns submission. Be the awesome wife to her Father, she learns from that too.
I understand parenting is lots of work, But I want you to know you can be the best mum ever.
Written by: Susan dare