It is actually a beautiful experience to get married to a non- native because am an F.B.I. (full blooded Isoko) base on I was bred and lived mostly with Isoko people. I Got married to the BOMB (BONE OF MY BONE) who happened to be an Itshekiri man. Before marriage we had the fullest of discussion based on the life after wedding, and that’s marriage, but we forgot to discuss one thing that happened to be very important later. This important thing came to our mind when husby best friend asked us what dialect his godchildren will speak since we are from different ethnicity.
Different ethnicity most times have caused unnecessary strife which ordinarily would have being averted if my beloved brother understanding was allowed to play its part which is supposed to be the foundation of any blooming union. Most times when the woman start teaching the kids her own dialect, there is a strange undertone meaning people give to her patriotic act, that she is assuming the post of the head of the home, whereas not true, it may be as a result of the non-availability of the father of the family, which the mother is trying to feel in the gap by teaching the kids her own dialect, not making the kids feel alone when in the company of their peers who are good when it comes to speaking their own dialect.
In some other family the case is different when the father is unavoidably not around, the mother don’t get to teach the kids her own language so as not to give people topic for discussion making the kids to lose at both end when it comes to learning their local dialect. Awesome stroll into this dialect issue is when some fathers bring the attitude of I am the man of the house in it. They speak and teach their own dialect to the kids and with everything possible silence the mother tongue of the wife which you will bear with me is totally uncalled for.
Advisably speaking, the kids should be taught the available mother tongue of either parents and when both parents are around nothing stops them from teaching the kids both because it has gotten to our knowledge that exposure brings retention to kids. Superiority of being a man should not come to play here. Teaching kids both language actually makes them polyglots making them not seen as lost kids (fondly said by Nigerians) when they are in their paternal or maternal home.
Before marriage or before child birth, the language or the mother tongue should be discussed with alacrity when they happen to be from different ethnicity, so you don’t get the boom! shock my husby best friend gave us as a result of his question.
Written by: Oghenerabome ababda-efajemu